Quit smoking

Now that it has been over a month, I feel comfortable enough to actually say: I have quit smoking!

I started to smoke on the 8th grade, so that's about 9 years. 9 years! That is just terrible. Out of my 24 years on this planet, I've had black lungs for about third of it. Terrible.

I use to say, that I'm never going to quit smoking. I like that habit too much, but oh how things change. Only about two years ago, I decided that 'someday', I will do it. But still, the excuses were there.
"These are the last years I can smoke menthol cigarettes"
"I need to lose weight before I can quit"
"No rush, I'm not even thirty yet!"

When I started this, I didn't no what to expect. I have never even tried to quit before. I think in all of that 9 years, I have been without smoking for two days. Once cause I slept for 26 hours and missed a day, and once cause I was in a hospital and they didn't let me (obviously, I couldn't even breathe).

But I wanted to be prepared, jump in with both feet, and actually be clear on my goals, and reasons for quitting. I wrote myself a letter, about all the things I didn't like cigarettes for, how it effects my life and my health and put up some key points to what the future holds, if I don't smoke. So if I ever get an urge, I can just read these thoughts and remember how I felt.

Like I said, I like the habit of smoking. If I'm doing a big art project for three hours, I like to go out and just free myself of that mindset for a few minutes. So I got myself an electric cigarette or a vape. This way I can keep the habit, drop the nicotine levels slowly to zero and it keeps me from eating to replace the cigs.

I'm mostly surprised how easy it has been, because it has been really easy. Out of all of my friends, they say that if I can quit, anyone can. So that gives you an idea of how much this has had an hold on my life. I think I've had the urge to smoke only a few times. I was walking home and felt like I was missing something, and a thought accured to me "What do I usually do when I walk home?" Answer: Smoke. But gladly I had my vape, so I had something similar to do.

But the grip smoking has on your life is real. Three hour lecture? Sure, but only if it has a smoke brake. Want to eat a snack on a long train ride? Can't, cause then you would have to smoke afterwards or suffer a headache. You have to time your life according to how you can smoke. Going to the bus, having to buy more cigs and always keeping a headcount on how many you have left.

Im so glad to be moving on from that. So now I can just sit back, smoke-free, and enjoy my freedom. And oh, how I love it.

Tax-free Freedom

At what point, did we build walls on the opportunities? What was the point, when there became to be so many people, that we had to?

School says, do as we say or you will fail.

Government says, do as we say or go to jail. 

For people of religion, there is also the possibility of hell if you don't follow their rules. 

But what does the earth say? It says, "What the fuck is wrong with you? What are you doing here? These are endless possibilities to be happy, seek every adventure you have ever wanted and no limits to do so. Yet, you keep building and destroying yourselves, and me in the process".

Is freedom more laws and patronizing, or just the opposite? If there is no laws, people (being the worst animals in the world), will ruin other peoples chances to pursue freedom. But being under surveillance is no where near being free.

If only people weren't greedy, selfish, power seeking idiots, there would be no problem. And that is why humans are the only animal, that the concept of Utopia is impossible. Humans are to blame for their own cages.

The model they are selling, is not for me. It is not for everyone. Go to schools, work 30 hours a week, over populate the world, die, be hooked to a machine, then die for real. This is what they want us to live like, this is the cage that was build, but sometimes you just have to stop and think; Is this right?

You can live on the edge, one feet in both worlds, being a good person by law, without letting it affect your happiness. Because when you get down to it, amongst the physical things, freedom is a state of mind. No matter the number of physical obstacles, if your mind isn't free, you wont be either.