Now that it has been over a month, I feel comfortable enough to actually say: I have quit smoking!
I started to smoke on the 8th grade, so that's about 9 years. 9 years! That is just terrible. Out of my 24 years on this planet, I've had black lungs for about third of it. Terrible.
I use to say, that I'm never going to quit smoking. I like that habit too much, but oh how things change. Only about two years ago, I decided that 'someday', I will do it. But still, the excuses were there.
"These are the last years I can smoke menthol cigarettes"
"I need to lose weight before I can quit"
"No rush, I'm not even thirty yet!"
When I started this, I didn't no what to expect. I have never even tried to quit before. I think in all of that 9 years, I have been without smoking for two days. Once cause I slept for 26 hours and missed a day, and once cause I was in a hospital and they didn't let me (obviously, I couldn't even breathe).
But I wanted to be prepared, jump in with both feet, and actually be clear on my goals, and reasons for quitting. I wrote myself a letter, about all the things I didn't like cigarettes for, how it effects my life and my health and put up some key points to what the future holds, if I don't smoke. So if I ever get an urge, I can just read these thoughts and remember how I felt.
Like I said, I like the habit of smoking. If I'm doing a big art project for three hours, I like to go out and just free myself of that mindset for a few minutes. So I got myself an electric cigarette or a vape. This way I can keep the habit, drop the nicotine levels slowly to zero and it keeps me from eating to replace the cigs.
I'm mostly surprised how easy it has been, because it has been really easy. Out of all of my friends, they say that if I can quit, anyone can. So that gives you an idea of how much this has had an hold on my life. I think I've had the urge to smoke only a few times. I was walking home and felt like I was missing something, and a thought accured to me "What do I usually do when I walk home?" Answer: Smoke. But gladly I had my vape, so I had something similar to do.
But the grip smoking has on your life is real. Three hour lecture? Sure, but only if it has a smoke brake. Want to eat a snack on a long train ride? Can't, cause then you would have to smoke afterwards or suffer a headache. You have to time your life according to how you can smoke. Going to the bus, having to buy more cigs and always keeping a headcount on how many you have left.
Im so glad to be moving on from that. So now I can just sit back, smoke-free, and enjoy my freedom. And oh, how I love it.