Auld Lang Syne

Life changes, that's what the new year is all about right?

In 2015, I made a timeline for things I want to accomplish in the following years. I took it out today thinking, that Im so far behind, only to realize how much I've done from it. Getting my other cat sterilized? Done. Quit smoking? Done. Started boxing? Done. Found my perfect guy? Done. Published my first book? Done.

I can actually feel like I've done something good with my life for the past few years. Till 2013 my life was a freaking mess. Lot of bad things there that I won't go deeper into now. But the changes that has followed? Oh wow.

Graduated as a chef, animal attendant, and as a security guard. Had a few jobs from different fields for experience. Quit drugs, drinking and eventually smoking. Changed the way I live, to match the way I feel, meaning (usually) healthy vegetarian diet, exercise for mind and body and living more eco-friendly. I Keep evolving with my crafts and have been selling them nicely. And I actually have been travelling, like I always wanted.

So today, I made a new timeline, to bring together the things from the old list that I haven't done yet, and to update the new things. As a symbol of accomplishment, I'm burning the old timeline.
Even though I feel that I've come a long way, there is still work to do. I take that journey on with a full heart. Shall the next year be as good as this one.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet for auld lang syne.

Yule

Is the time of the year again. Christmas time, or as it was before Christianity; Yule.
It was and is a festival observed by the historical Germanic peoples. Researchers have connected the celebration to the Wild Hunt, the god Odin, and the pagan Anglo-Saxon Mōdraniht.

The Wild Hunt is a European folk myth involving a ghostly or supernatural group of huntsmen passing in wild pursuit. God Odin is the Germanic mythology god of all the gods, associated with wisdom, healing, death, and royalty. And Mōdraniht was an "Mothers night" -event held at 25th of December by pagans.
Some things sure change, but some thing don't. No matter what history do you think of during the holidays, or if you think of any. Yule can be a romantic, safe, calm and nice time of the year.

I love the warmness of it. There is nothing like a hot cup of mulled wine, but then again, I love it year around. We always decorate the tree with my brother witch is good fun. And the whole family sits and eats together, this one special time of the year.

Board games, gifts, good vibes all around. Maybe throw in some classic Christmas songs as well and enjoy your day. Peace on earth.

Dunnottar Castle

I was in Aberdeen last October, and visited the Dunnottar Castle in Stonehaven. After that trip I felt the urge to study it's history.

I haven't traveled that much. In 2016 I was in Scotland (Edinburgh, Glasgow, Arran) and earlier this year I was in Holland, mostly in Groningen. So the views I saw on the walk up to the castle was all new to me. I have never seen anything so beautiful.

The sea, high hills and deep valleys. Streams, cows and the wind. All of these things together was just so beautiful, always having one eye on the castle in the horizon.

Everytime I visit a place like this, my empath side places me to that time and place. I feel the sorrows and the joys, and the sadness of it being over. I can imagine the people of that age there, running the halls, looking at the sea and having lives that have ended years ago.

How there were 167 people kept prisoner in the same size of room, as the deutches bedroom, two floors up. They were ankle deep in mire, and held for nine weeks with no sanitation. Both food and water had to be bought from the guards. Twenty five men escaped, two of whom fell into their deaths, and fifteen we're captured and tortured.

How the pet-lion was so loud, that the duchess ordered it to be killed or she looses her beauty sleep. I can just picture it.

I take a lot of knowledge from this trip, and empathy for the souls that were lost. Never treat people for less than others, and appreciate old buildings and places, so that they will be there to teach to others as well. Lovely trip left in my memory that I will always cherish.

20.-24.10.2017 Aberdeen, Scotland

My first book

Knock! Knock!

I wake up and run to the door, wondering who could it be. 

Exhausted mailman hands me a heavy box.

I wonder out loud "what it might be?"

Mailman looks at me funny, 

asks me to sign something, and sign away I will. 

After that he says

"I don't know what it is honey".

It's my first book!
"Seitsemän päivän satukirja" is a children's storybook, and it is in Finnish. Roughly translated it means "Seven day storybook", because this book has one story for each bedtime of the week.

Stories are a huge deal in children's life. It's something to do together with a parent, it's the calm activity before falling asleep, but most of all, its' a stimulation for your mind, and imagination. 

Learning about the peaks of life in interesting stories it the best medicine for growing pains. This book has been written from the basics of kindness. Lovely tales full of lessons and love. 

I wanted to extend the kindness theme to the illustrations of the book. So this lead me to seek artists in familiar facebook groups. I figured, that the stories would become even more personal, with each individual artist behind them. They all did the work pro bono, because I didn't have a dime to give them, only the chance to have their art in a book. 

It took some time and a lot of effort but finally it was out. Fresh out of an oven, just landed from heaven, rolled down the tilly-top.. My first book. This is something I created. Words out of my head, my imagination. No one can ever take that away from me, and I love that. No matter what, I will always have that.

Green apple smoothie

After a long day and a hard workout I felt the urge to make a smoothie. A healthy, nutrious smoothie.

Two green apples, a banana, pineapple and spinach. To flavor it up I use agave syrap. Protein and fiber we get from hazelnut powder and linseed. To add liquid, I used green tea.

Green tea is good for your body, it contains bio active compounds that improve health. It can improve brain function and burns fat. Spinach gives you iron and linseed is the superseed with awesome abilities like detoxing your body and preventing cancer and heart disease.

This smoothie is not expensive to make, and I could do it with a broken arm, so it was pretty easy =)
I totally recommend it. Also, it tastes good and feels good!

Quit smoking

Now that it has been over a month, I feel comfortable enough to actually say: I have quit smoking!

I started to smoke on the 8th grade, so that's about 9 years. 9 years! That is just terrible. Out of my 24 years on this planet, I've had black lungs for about third of it. Terrible.

I use to say, that I'm never going to quit smoking. I like that habit too much, but oh how things change. Only about two years ago, I decided that 'someday', I will do it. But still, the excuses were there.
"These are the last years I can smoke menthol cigarettes"
"I need to lose weight before I can quit"
"No rush, I'm not even thirty yet!"

When I started this, I didn't no what to expect. I have never even tried to quit before. I think in all of that 9 years, I have been without smoking for two days. Once cause I slept for 26 hours and missed a day, and once cause I was in a hospital and they didn't let me (obviously, I couldn't even breathe).

But I wanted to be prepared, jump in with both feet, and actually be clear on my goals, and reasons for quitting. I wrote myself a letter, about all the things I didn't like cigarettes for, how it effects my life and my health and put up some key points to what the future holds, if I don't smoke. So if I ever get an urge, I can just read these thoughts and remember how I felt.

Like I said, I like the habit of smoking. If I'm doing a big art project for three hours, I like to go out and just free myself of that mindset for a few minutes. So I got myself an electric cigarette or a vape. This way I can keep the habit, drop the nicotine levels slowly to zero and it keeps me from eating to replace the cigs.

I'm mostly surprised how easy it has been, because it has been really easy. Out of all of my friends, they say that if I can quit, anyone can. So that gives you an idea of how much this has had an hold on my life. I think I've had the urge to smoke only a few times. I was walking home and felt like I was missing something, and a thought accured to me "What do I usually do when I walk home?" Answer: Smoke. But gladly I had my vape, so I had something similar to do.

But the grip smoking has on your life is real. Three hour lecture? Sure, but only if it has a smoke brake. Want to eat a snack on a long train ride? Can't, cause then you would have to smoke afterwards or suffer a headache. You have to time your life according to how you can smoke. Going to the bus, having to buy more cigs and always keeping a headcount on how many you have left.

Im so glad to be moving on from that. So now I can just sit back, smoke-free, and enjoy my freedom. And oh, how I love it.

Tax-free Freedom

At what point, did we build walls on the opportunities? What was the point, when there became to be so many people, that we had to?

School says, do as we say or you will fail.

Government says, do as we say or go to jail. 

For people of religion, there is also the possibility of hell if you don't follow their rules. 

But what does the earth say? It says, "What the fuck is wrong with you? What are you doing here? These are endless possibilities to be happy, seek every adventure you have ever wanted and no limits to do so. Yet, you keep building and destroying yourselves, and me in the process".

Is freedom more laws and patronizing, or just the opposite? If there is no laws, people (being the worst animals in the world), will ruin other peoples chances to pursue freedom. But being under surveillance is no where near being free.

If only people weren't greedy, selfish, power seeking idiots, there would be no problem. And that is why humans are the only animal, that the concept of Utopia is impossible. Humans are to blame for their own cages.

The model they are selling, is not for me. It is not for everyone. Go to schools, work 30 hours a week, over populate the world, die, be hooked to a machine, then die for real. This is what they want us to live like, this is the cage that was build, but sometimes you just have to stop and think; Is this right?

You can live on the edge, one feet in both worlds, being a good person by law, without letting it affect your happiness. Because when you get down to it, amongst the physical things, freedom is a state of mind. No matter the number of physical obstacles, if your mind isn't free, you wont be either. 

Keep them with me

Even though, it has already been a year, I can still hear her. I can still see her, and I can still feel her warmth. I lost my darling family member 28.01.2016, she was only five years old, her life didn't have the change to start yet.

Sometimes a year feels like a week.
Sometimes an hour, sometimes a minute.
Somedays year doesn’t have time, it’s just a word.
You can’t measure your healing in time.
Time doesn’t tell you, when you are ready
Or when you are whole again.
In a timeless abyss: You are the only one that knows.

For a pet, we are the world, even if they are just a part of ours, that time is precious. Pets give your life so much love. I can't imagine my life without them. 

I can love many, but she was the one who needed me.
I loved her like no other
I cared for her like no other
I was there when she needed me, and for that I’m grateful.
She was taken care of for all of her life.
She was happy, for all of her life.

I carry them with me. My family's first cat, who lived to be 20 years old, and my baby's paws. Her big fluffy paws. They travel together, and they are always with me.

My eyes red from crying, my heart black from yearning.
Legs so weak, can’t stand up.
Soul crushed but still breathing.
I climb up, I stand up, I keep on going
Give me strength
Give me hope
And lead me back home

I miss her, but Im glad I knew her. There is no happiness without pets. I feel her guiding me, forcing me to deal with pain in my life, just so that I can appreciate the good. Sometimes life adds, sometimes it subtracts.

She heard the call of the mountains, the call of the wind and valleys.
Time doesn’t always tell you, when is the moment,
To let go and leave.
There in the land of valleys, amongst the mountains
She runs, and lives forever
Poetry by Jonna jowi Sihvonen

When published?

I have been writing for years now, and I have several book-projects that are waiting to be finished. But few months ago I actually finished one, I have a book! Ready to go into the world!

It's a storybook for children, it has a different angle, beautiful artwork and a theme that is fresh. But it is still missing a publisher, no answers yet.

I hate this part. Only like 2% of the book proposals get published, so the rest just have to suffer, make an e-book or self-publish which is really expensive (yes, I've looked into that).

Im not giving up. I will hold that in my hand, a book that I've made, something I created into the world. Something great, helpful, teaching, fun, and full of emotion and feeling.

I will get there, because I have a vision for my future: Im sitting in my camper, with my laptop and a cup of coffee, writing and looking out the window. Life's passion being the source of livelihood.

I will get there. Just wait and see.

To Finn or not to Finn

I usually don’t think of myself as a Finn. I don’t like Sauna. Ice Hockey is not interesting and I find super-Finnish patriotism pathetic. “Finland is only for Finns” Ugh kill me now.

We have what we call “basic Finn's”, that are close minded and racist. Men can’t show emotions or they are weak, there are only heterosexuals among us, woman can only be a wife nothing more, and animals are only products. And guess what, they run our government now! No wonder my thirst for the full-time rv life is getting bigger every day. The "basic Finn's" eat the soul of Finland, and they actually think they are doing this for Finland, which only makes it worse.

Someone I know, was in a pub wearing a Finland hoodie, and some darker skinned teenagers were (in her words) staring at her, and her impulse was to give them the middle finger. When she told me this, I thought she was kidding, but no.

What if they were tourists or exchange students? What a lovely image they have of our country now. And ofc you will get looks in pub wearing that shirt! Being overly patriotic is kind of Finland's ‘murica. Racism is a big issue in Finland.

I don't think there is harmony in Finland, maybe Finn's hearts are frozen from the weather? I don't know. But it's not for me.

With all it's faults, I do love Finland, as a country. Beautiful forests, lakes, hills, just so much nature. It's breathtaking really. And the space is unbelievable. New York could actually fit into Finland 278 times. Yes, 278 times. And still there is three hundred thousand people more in New York, than in all of Finland. So while people live on top of each other, we live with space, or at least the option of space.

If only the people here would be as free as the land is. Because racism, is not an opinion, it’s a flaw in character.

Me and Finland.. It really is a love & hate relationship.

What I use for my hair?

You should always be aware of what you are putting in your body, near your body and well all around your life. The gruesome pictures on the sides of cigarette packs? Good, but add warning photos also to fast-food cartons, alcohol bottles and candy bags.

People usually start to question the stuff we consume through our mouth, like foods and stuff, but rarely does

anyone think about the shampoos, or other things we use on our hair.

At first, I thought of about how much I use for my hair. I'm use to having all kinds of hairstyles that required me to use products to keep them going (up mostly). But for the past few years now, I gave up everything from lacquer to hair wax. I felt like that stuff just doesn't belong to be there, and that my hair looks great without all that junk.

But then a friend of mine shared her thoughts on what you put in your hair, and informed me about chemicals. It is the ugly side of your shampoo called: Sodium laureth sulfate, that you shouldn't use.

What it does for the shampoo is that it makes it foamy, and that is it's main job, and a job that our hair doesn't even need! At that point, when the shampoo its foaming, it has already cleaned the hair. It's useless, but still to this day, people are associate foaming with ''Good shampoo''. Too bad, because Sodium laureth sulfate carries a lot of negative things with it Like it actually destroys your hair in the long run, stripping off all the essential oils your hair needs to stay healthy, breaking down protein and halting healthy hair growth.

The other job of SLS is it's cleaning properties that are way overwhelming, stripping the hair completely. Also, if you think yourself as person who appreciates mother nature, likes naturality, and preserving the world, Sodium laureth sulfate is not the option for you. It is toxic for the environment, it can cause skin irritation/rash and it may contain cancer causing chemicals.

So, what do I use?

The only thing that goes to my hair is my Nurme's Avocado shampoo bar (Bought from Ruohonjuuri), that is a safe, green choice. It is great and easy and it works for me.

Not everything suits for everyone, but you will find yours. :)

Baby steps

Like all big life changes, they need to start slow. ''Jump in with both feet'' -Means committing to your goal, not ''change your whole life today''. How many of you have done this, ''Tomorrow I will start exercising, eat healthy and stop drinking & smoking'', then you do this for two days and quit. Why did you quit? Because you did it too fast.

When we are looking at the possible roads we could take, what they offer, and how it changes our lives, we need to really want it. For example, you can't change your diet just because you want to lose weight. If you take your time with it, you will see that you also want a healthier diet, more home-cooked instead of fast-food, and the skinnier healthier look that comes with balanced diet. All the aspects of that change has to be visual for you, so that you can make a full-hearted decision.

This is how the idea of minimalist life came to me. I don't have a lot of stuff (compared to few of my friends) But I have a lot of collective stuff, and it's all out there for the world to see, not stuffed in drawers.

I started to look around my apartment, thinking why? Why do I have so much stuff. I don't need this, so I shouldn't have it right?. One day, I will live in a Class C camper full-time, and before that, I need to get rid of a lot of stuff. Luckily, I have time before that dream takes place, so I can make a full-hearted decision instead of a fast one.

So how did I get here? It was many small things that I will talk about later, but lastly thanks to a movie. I've watched the movie Fight Club multiple times, and I've always loved the quotes, but they didn't mean that much before. I guess you have to have a certain state of mind before something you've heard million times affects you. Last time I watched Fight Club, I took those quotes to heart.

So this is where I get off from the ''regular-road'' and start heading towards those wild paths.

"The things you own, end up owning you"
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything"
"You have to know the answer to this question! If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?"
"We buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't like"
"This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time"